(913) 636-3523 info@kristinahaahr.com

Showing Kindness Matters

Editing Insights, Real Life

Most of us have been on the receiving end of some unkind feedback. Maybe from a boss, client, or yikes, even your editor. We know it stings. 

I believe there is a better way to give feedback, a way where you can still be honest but no one cries in their car at the end. By employing a little kindness with our feedback, editors and clients can build a relationship based on trust. We can eliminate the fear factor from opening an email, knowing no matter what it contains, it will be conveyed with kindness. Giving kind feedback doesn’t guarantee you will escape all hurt feelings. But it can help you build a relationship, where everyone agrees we are working on a common goal. 

When you’re giving feedback try these tips:

  • Remove yourself from the equation. You’re there to represent the reader. If something isn’t clear to you, then it’s not going to be clear to the reader. Letting your author know that “your reader will be lost here” is a kind way of delivering the message.
  • Don’t say “you.” Feedback that starts with “you,” especially if it’s followed by “should” or “need to,” can come across like you know better than the author what needs to be said. Try phrasing your comment differently taking out the “you” and making the issue at hand the subject of your comment. This makes the critique focused on the writing and therefore less personal and easier to hear. 
  • Ask questions. Sometimes what you don’t like about a piece of writing is a style choice made by your author.  Ask questions before passing judgment. It might be important to them for a number of personal reasons and after all, editors are not there to change or squash the author’s intended voice. Some authors want to have their grammar corrected, but some authors like it like that!
  • Cite your sources. If you need a little distance from saying “this is the wrong part of speech to use here,” try to cite the grammar rule to back it up. This also ties in with removing yourself from the equation. It’s not you OR them, it’s simply grammar. Blame CMoS. 

Above all, the most kind comment you can make is an honest one. When it’s wrong, it’s your job as the editor or peer reviewer to say so. But you can choose to say so with kindness. Brutal honesty is hardly ever necessary. If we all ask ourselves the three gating questions taught by Bernard Meltzer; is it true, is it kind, is it necessary, we can save ourselves and our audience a lot of heartache. 

We can practice receiving critiques of our work (or rejections of our suggestions) for what they truly are: a difference of opinion over the written piece at hand. Whether you’re the editor or the author, when you receive feedback on your work, remember that it is not a critique of who you are as a person and should have no bearing on how you view your worth or your talent. Editing is about making the writing the best it can be.

 

 

0 Comments